By Aashiq
Link: https://sohotheatreondemand.com/show/GoodGirl
£4
Link with captions: https://sohotheatreondemand.com/show/goodgirlcaptionedsubtitled
£4
Warning: Bad language, sex and female biological references,
lots of adult concepts. I would say 18+
Available until: I don’t know when it’ll be taken off the
site, but I do know you get 48 hours to watch it after you pay for it. So there
you go. Some useful information.
Can I say I just love the way Soho on Demand theatre IDs me
when I pay for some of their productions? They didn’t do it this time (though I
think they should have done, considering the content. Maybe they just recognised
me. That’s a lovely thought), but I did appreciate it the other times. I
know they do that to everybody, but it really is the loveliest way to start the
day.
And if you get the chance after you’ve watched Good Girl, check out Panti Bliss: High Heels in Low Places, which I didn’t review because I don’t know how to review stand-up comedy without stealing all the best jokes, but Panti is hilarious and beautiful and she has a great Madonna story. My Madonna story is just that one of my exes claims to have… had a moment with her in her car. I always try to be positive about my exes so here’s the nicest thing I can say about him: he might have had a moment with Madonna. Madonna also gets quite a few mentions in Good Girl, actually. She’s obviously well-known at the Soho Theatre. She’s an icon. But so’s Panti. She’s a national flipping treasure. (That’s not an exact quote.) And I got IDed when watched her show! (I need to start shutting up about that. Seriously.)
But anyway. Back to Good Girl. Naomi Sheldon’s
one-woman show is all about being a girl. Sometimes I feel like girls have it
easy. They can wear dresses, heels and make-up whenever they like. They have a
much wider choice of compatible boys. There’s less pressure on them to be
mentally and physically strong. But I never really believed that because we’re
all human beings and being a human can be total FAECES (you know what I mean).
We all face pressure and expectations, whether that’s because of what body we
have or what parents we have or whether there’ll be any pasta in the shops.
Life is one big pressure cooker, which mainly just cooks your goose.
I don’t understand some of the specifics of being a woman.
Like, how do you know when you need a bra? I knew when I needed one because I
needed something to put my falsies in. But for girls, I’d guess it kind of
creeps up on you gradually? You don’t just go on ebay and buy them. And… EVERY
MONTH? Respect. Seriously.
Good Girl actually didn’t answer these questions, but
it answered lots of others. Like, I always wanted to go to a girls’ sleepover
so we could do each other’s hair and make-up, but I was never invited because
they apparently thought the sight of them in their night clothes would turn me.
(I was never invited to boys’ sleepovers either because they apparently thought
the sight of them in their night clothes would be too much for me.) But anyway,
girls’ sleepovers aren’t about hair and make-up. They’re about… exploring. And
I mean, whatever turns you on, but I don’t think it’s really my thing. But it’s
great to know. I’ve always wanted to.
The set, designed by Alison Neighbour, is bare other than a
circular raised platform thing which is a bit like what animals stand on as a
circus. It might not be intended to be like that, but I think it’s good as
circuses can be described as freak shows and this play is about feeling like a
freak who’s on display for everyone to see. Matt Peover’s direction is stripped
back. No props. Just one girl in a spotlight, telling a story. There’s no need
for props anyway – Naomi Sheldon easily makes us believe in the objects she
describes. And the experiences. It’s very… educational.
Naomi, who also wrote the play, plays all the characters,
but the main character is GG, who is (I think) ten years old at the start of
the play. By the end, it’s 2017, so let’s not talk about age, but she’s been
able to vote for a while. GG feels all the pressures of life. It’s hard. It’s
emotional. Life doesn’t go as she wants. She starts off as a good girl, but
that makes you vulnerable. GG needs to find a coping mechanism and she finds
one. It saves her from a lot of pain, but does it really make her happy?
It all sounds quite depressing when I put it like that and
there is a lot of sadness in this play. But it’s also hilarious. Naomi has
written some brilliant jokes and she delivers them flawlessly. She puts things
into words which are almost impossible to put into words. She says things we
don’t feel brave enough to say. She also says things which scare the
you-know-what out of me, but in a good way. I love the way GG is fearless and
fearful all at once. I love the way Naomi doesn’t hold back.
I’m not sure how autobiographical this play is (though I
hope Naomi never had a teacher like that, ‘inappropriate’ doesn’t really cover
it), but it doesn’t matter. GG feels real. Even when she’s being fake for her
own survival, there’s a raw, painful honesty about her. I’m not totally like GG
because I’ve never been any good at containing my emotions and there’s no way
I’d ever kick a boy where she kicks them. But so many of GG’s experiences,
decisions and fears feel like something which did happen to me or something
which could have happened to me. And much as I like to be a total individual,
sometimes it’s nice to know I’m not the only one.
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