I LOVE YOU, YOU’RE PERFECT, NOW CHANGE (Lambert Jackson/London Coliseum)***

 

By Emma

Link: https://londoncoliseum.org/whats-on/i-love-you-youre-perfect-now-change

Available until: Livestreams on 29^th and 30^th January at 7.30 with a matinée on Saturday 30^th at 12pm (midday)

Recommended age guidance: 16 + Contains strong language and scenes of a sexual nature

I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change makes me feel very glad I’m happily married and that I met my husband at school. The thought of going through all the excruciating dates and situations we get to see in this musical is enough to put anyone off dating for life!

It’s bad enough just watching this. The thought of actually having to participate in these cringey scenarios is enough to kill anyone’s libido. It’s actually quite sad that people think that putting themselves through all that is preferable to being alone.

It’s not a bad musical. It’s just a bit uncomfortable. Jimmy Roberts composed the music and there are a lot of really enjoyable songs. The start is quite operatic, there are some ballroom numbers and there are some songs that sound like pop. So you never know what the next song will be like.

I did wonder if the lyrics had been updated as they felt so modern but Joe DiPietro is credited with writing the book and lyrics on the Coliseum site and he’s also credited in the Wikipedia article so it’s probably just Kirk Jameson’s directing that makes it seem so modern. The mentions of phones sound really natural for smartphones but I suppose they would work with a landline too. The musical was premiered in the 1990s and I don’t think many people had any kind of mobile then.

Not that I’m saying the books and lyrics are bad. They’re very witty and they reproduce cringey dates in a very realistic way. I might not have been on any cringey dates, but I’ve heard about them. In detail.

The book and lyrics are maybe bit too sweary with some unnecessary sex scenes (not in an offensive way, just an ‘I don’t want the kids walking in and asking what that noise is’ way). But the lyrics have some very clever rhymes and there are some good jokes.

There have been a few concerts and musicals at the London Coliseum since the start of lockdown and I have noticed a really weird thing. Most of the time they stand with their back to the empty seats. Maybe there’s some reason for this like it’s easier to have the cameras on the same level as the performers but it always feels a bit weird and sad. I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change actually had shots from all angles but I still kept noticing the empty seats.

I don’t think this production was properly live. There were lots of very fast costume changes, like literally seconds. Maybe they really did manage to do it, there were some very quick costume changes in Aladdin (I was so annoyed when that closed as the kids loved it but it seems like a small thing now) but I’m really not sure those costume changes in this musical would be possible live. Obviously, it’s totally okay for it not to be live and we are so lucky the performers are willing to take the risk of being in the musical but I did kind of think it would be live.

There are lots of different characters in this musical but they only appear in one or two scenes each. I was a bit worried at first about how I was going to remember all the storylines but then I finally worked it out and just enjoyed each scene as an individual scene. The characters are played by four West End stars. Brenda Edwards, Alice Fearn, Trevor Dion Nicholas and Oliver Tompsett were originally announced but Trevor had to withdraw for really understandable personal reasons and he was replaced by Simon Lipkin.

They were all really good. Alice Fearn is one of the best in the West End, she can act and sing any role and this musical is a great opportunity for her to show off how versatile she is and how funny she can be. Brenda Edwards has a big voice and a big personality that really draw you in and she’s very warm but in I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change she gets to do a couple of serious acting scenes and there was one towards the end which was one of the most emotional in the whole musical.

Oliver Tompsett and Simon Lipkin are more similar to each other vocally but they are both great to watch and listen to, taking on numerous characters including, adorably, a gay couple with a baby. They’re both very funny and they really seem to enjoy playing characters who are terrible with women and not exactly great at intimate activities. They are professional actors of course and this is a musical but it’s always really nice to see men who aren’t trying to emphasise their manliness in some way at every moment.

I don’t love this musical, it’s not perfect but there are no other musicals like it so I don’t think I’d want it to change.